Hello, friends!
I recently went on a work trip, and the best part? A breathtaking hiking spot in the backyard of my accommodation! A flowing river, lush green trees, and air so fresh it felt like a luxury. Living in the city, clean air is a rare treasure.
But today, I am not talking about the external environment, I want to talk about the environment of your heart.
As we close the first quarter of the year, many of us are feeling the pressure. Maybe you, like me, are realizing that achieving your goals takes more than dreams and inspiration. It takes discipline, effort, and consistency. That realization can sometimes trigger self-doubt, frustration, and even self-condemnation.
So, what do you do when you are the reason for your own setbacks? How do you move forward when you feel like you have let yourself down? Forgive yourself? That might feel a bit uncorfortable for others and myself.
Why Do You Need to Forgive Yourself?
1. God Has Already Forgiven You
As a Christian, I believe in a God who forgives. If God, who is perfect, can extend forgiveness to us, then why do we struggle to forgive ourselves? Holding onto guilt and shame after we have repented is like saying Christ’s sacrifice wasn’t enough. But He has already paid the price.
As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12
2. The Science of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not just a spiritual concept it is also backed by science. Studies show that self-forgiveness improves mental health by reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. It helps rewire the brain for emotional regulation, activating the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC) the part of the brain responsible for problem-solving and rational thinking.
Unforgiveness, on the other hand, keeps us stuck in a cycle of chronic stress and rumination, which has been linked to heart disease, high blood pressure, and even impaired immune function.
3. Self-Forgiveness Fosters Growth
When we forgive ourselves, we show self-compassion. We acknowledge that we made a mistake, but we also recognize our ability to grow from it. Self-forgiveness is not about excusing wrongdoing but about releasing the burden of guilt so that we can learn, heal, and move forward.
Why Do We Struggle to Forgive Ourselves?
- We haven’t t received or asked for forgiveness. You can’t give what you don’t have. If you struggle to forgive yourself, ask God for forgiveness first, then receive it fully.
2. We lack self-compassion. Empathy isn’t just for others it is for yourself too. Being kind to yourself is a crucial part of healing.
3. We are stuck in shame and guilt. Sometimes, we believe punishing ourselves will make things right. But how do you punish what has already been paid for? Christ took your shame and guilt holding onto it is unnecessary and, in a way, prideful. Ooch I know that stings.
How to Start Forgiving Yourself Today?
1. Confess & Journal. Write down what is weighing you down. Bring it to God in prayer or speak to a trusted therapist or mentor.
2. Reframe Your Story. Your mistakes don’t define you. Your worth is not in what you’ve done but in who created you.
3. Practice Self-Compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend in your situation.
4. Focus on Growth. Self-forgiveness is about moving forward, not dwelling on the past. Every new day is an opportunity for change.
As we step into March, let today be the day you start practicing self-forgiveness. You hold the power to rewrite your story.
God is kind to you. Be kind to yourself.
-Dr. Sibo
Catch our latest podcast on self-forgiveness on all your favorite platforms!
Let’s journey together, share your thoughts and experiences in the comments or reach out. I would love to hear from you!
My backyard view from a recent work trip.I hope it can give you peace like it did me.